Chasing Butterflies

So I'm in the midst of a self pity spiral where I'm pretty sure nobody else is going to buy my book and I'm going to be left begging for spare change on the street corner wearing a Giant Banana costume with no panties..and God only knows who's worn those things.. I could die. I COULD DIE! 

And then, my Incredibly Awesome Friend IM's me the link to Hyperbole and a Half's post that she's got a book deal. If I didn't love that blog so much I'd go into "how fucking nice for her mode" but in reality, I'm super stoked for her because she makes me laugh and anything that makes me laugh is good. Anyway - the conversation that followed also made me laugh and I had to share it. IAF's name has been spared - this time anyway - I can't guarantee future anonymity.

Nicole:  I'm supes happy for her!

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     I wish you had that post made for you

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     about your book

Nicole:  Me too

Nicole:  I need to figure out how to market it without actually having to market it with the spare time I don't have.

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     yes

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     HAHA

Nicole:  I'm feeling super sorry for myself

Nicole:  and it's a little nauseating

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     oh honey

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     what for?

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     the book?

Nicole:  that and I'm in the midst of this inability to write because I wrote this incredible chapter that I have no idea where it came from and it's knocked the shit out of everything else I wrote

Nicole:  it could be the ending

Nicole:  it could be in the middle

Nicole:  but I don't know how to top it

Nicole:  I'm utterly fucking stumped

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     here's what you do

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     you go get whiskey and some porn

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     and stop thinking about it

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     and then you dance around your place like a mad woman to awesome really loud music

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     and maybe you cry about shit at like 3 am

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     and you wake up the next morning and its there

Nicole:  I like this idea

Nicole:  granted, I can't do whiskey and porn until tomorrow night when the kid goes to his dad's house

Nicole:  but I like where this is going

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     haha yes

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     that's sorta like

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     what most of my days are like

Nicole:  lol

Nicole:  My muse left me

Nicole:  she was talking my head off. I couldn't write because I couldn't sit up from the migraine and then she suddenly said "Oh, you're not going to write? Well fuck you then. I'm outta here."

Nicole:  and it all goes back to that one day when I left Alex's god damned laptop in my car and it was stolen and I had to give him mine to make myself feel better as a parent which leaves me writing at my desk on my desktop in this horribly uncomfortable chair where I'm about to go postal on some M&M's because I can't take the pain..

Nicole:  I have to blog this conversation

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     and I find that the THOUGHT of speaking out my ideas into a recorder SEEMS really awesome and CINEMATIC

Nicole:  because it's too ridiculous not to

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     but I have found out that I get stage fright when alone with my phone

Nicole:  Me too@

Nicole:  and then I hate the sound of my voice

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     like it is this frigid cold judging slice of technology mocking me with it's fucking record button & there I am quivering in all of my blabbering nonesense trying to sound really interesting

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     I may as well go hit on people who play tennis

Nicole:  YES!

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     because that is equally absurd

Nicole:  fucking tennis players

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     REALLY?! TENNIS?! IN YOUR FUCKING OUTFITS?!?!

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     with your automatic ball slingers?

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     get the fuck out

Nicole:  It's like they're mocking sweat and dirt. and me for getting both sweat AND dirt on myself when I bother to exercise

Nicole:  I hate tennis players

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     hahahah

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     glad it's settled

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     we went from writers block to porn to tennis in about 5 minutes

Nicole:  hahahahaha

Impossibly Awesome Friend:     new record of tangentalnessnessness